dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
