Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
