Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
our cab driver is having phone sex.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
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