oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
