Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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