Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize