I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
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I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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