You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
