the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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