I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
