Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
