Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
