Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
