Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Randomize
