Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
