Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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