Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
