If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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