Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
