if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
