your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
