"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
