bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
