So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize