the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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