hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm lost and stupid without you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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