i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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