It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
