Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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