So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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