Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
