you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
