Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
