the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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