just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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