just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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