It's Friday. Sex?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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