I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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