I think I am morally bankrupt
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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