I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
