Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize