sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
