so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
