Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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