i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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