I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i came on her dog
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
