she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize