I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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