turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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