it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
