So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
