My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish i was in the wii world.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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