Where did you get a picture of my penis
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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