took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
