Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All the doctor said was why
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
