did you get engaged???
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
