But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
They are going to name an STD after you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
