I am puke
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
