Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
