The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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