she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
