dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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