I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
