I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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