it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
