He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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