I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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