I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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