Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
