Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
