my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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